World at Large

I'm writing this from an empty apartment listening to Lana Del Rey's "Born to Die" on my Xx's Pandora radio station. I still have not formed a solid opinion of her and her music. It is all hauntingly beautiful and yet still morbidly depressing. Not the best thing to be listening to when you are alone in your apartment. I think I'll stick to The Lumineers and Florence and the Machine...

I am now roughly half-way through the first semester of my Sophomore year. If I could boil everything up till this point down to one phrase it would be "severe lack of sleep." This time last year I was told by a very wise senior to hold on to the spare time that comes with being a freshman as long as possible. I didn't believe him until now. I have gotten to a point where I literally need to make myself relax because I get stressed and start panicking when I'm not doing homework. Welcome to the rest of my college career.

Watching the freshman this year has been proof of just how much I have changed in one year. I doubt my extended family will recognize me when I come to visit this Thanksgiving. The city has been a major factor in this change. I no longer see it through rose colored glasses. Don't get me wrong, I still love New York and I will probably never leave. There is just something about this city that makes me love life, feel alive, and gives me hope for humanity. I just no longer feel the pressure to do and see everything at every spare minute.

Sophomore year has literally made me feel old. All I do these days when I have a spare minute is sleep and eat. Last night, I went to bed at 9:30 and it was glorious. I (and anyone with sense) avoid Times Square as it is an accurate representation of everything that is wrong with the world. In fact, I rarely even leave my neighborhood (the Financial District... I moved, for anyone who doesn't know) for weeks at a time, which is ok, since I can see the ocean from my apartment window (something I've always wanted to be able to say). All this to say, I still love my life here, I've just developed a different perspective.

The view from my new apartment... better than last year, right?

Today was the first day of fall break for my school. This is a long-needed break for myself and the rest of my class. For some reason, everybody (upperclassman) agrees that Sophomore year is the crappiest of the four years. Basically, I've decided it is because:

1. We are all getting into the higher-level core classes that we don't want to take, and are not at all part of our major
2. We have all the responsibility of upperclassmen without any of the benefits
3. We all get irrationally annoyed with the stupid, idealistic freshman, regardless of the fact that we were in that situation just a year prior (God forbid we looked that idiotic)

The view of the Freedom tower from my neighborhood

Midterms loom before me in the next few weeks. And then, late November will see me enjoying stifling humidity with my entire family for the first time in two years.

This post has been hard, partially because I hate myself for waiting so long to post again... I planned to write a big, long post about how moving back to the city was (it was just like seeing the love of my life for the first time in years) but honestly, I was too caught up in it to care about writing. Mostly though, it was hard admitting to myself that I am a Sophomore, I have changed, and I only have two more years of this before I have to decide what direction my life is going to take. Do I stay in the city? Do I move away to another part of the country (or world)? I don't know, it is up to God. I just hope He gives me a little bit of a head's up before He does anything drastic.

Until next time...

-MB

This is a picture I took of my neighborhood from the Stanton Island Ferry.... I love my city.

Apology and a (good) explanation

Hello? Are you all still there? Don't blame you if you aren't....

You are probably wondering where I have been for the past 5 (ouch...) months. I definitely owe you an apology, an explanation, and an update.

... I think I'll start with the explanation....

Over the summer I had a grand vision for my life in NYC. I imagined myself balancing school, domestic life, blogging, and a part-time job seamlessly, with time for fun and adventure on the side (not to mention a little sleep now and then). I reached the city, and BAM. My plans and expectations were whipped away by the frigid winter wind, and drowned in the Hudson. You know that popular meme describing High school, bemoaning everyones lack of time? It goes a little like this:

SLEEP - SOCIAL LIFE - GOOD GRADES

Pick two, welcome to high school.

Well, it's a little like that, except its "Pick one, welcome to the King's College."

When I visited Kings for the first time on one of their visit weekends (called "inviso") I stayed with some freshman girls in their apartment. One of them took the time to give me a talk that I should have taken to heart a little sooner.

"They make it look like you will have time to go to Broadway shows every weekend, and party, and see the sights, and still have enough time to get an A in every class. DON'T BUY IT. College, let alone Kings, is very hard work, and there will be some days when you don't even leave your apartment for all the work. The sooner you accept that, the easier life here will be for you."

She was so right. Half-way through last semester I came to the realization that there are only so many hours in the day, and something had to go. Unfortunately for you, my readers, I had to let go of my blog (I told myself I'd pick it back up when I learned to balance everything, and apparently, that took 5 months). I'm not going to make any more promises to blog, because I honestly can't keep them. I will post as often as I can, but I can't guarantee a quota.

My sacrifice did pay off, however.... I made the Dean's List! Last semester was a huge learning curve. I failed and succeeded in dramatic ways, I made lifelong friends, I learned that it's ok not to have it all together all the time, I learned that there is no reason not to be happy all the time, and I don't think I could have done it all in a city any less unique and incredible. So I apologize that I couldn't have taken you all on my journey, but I hope you all will understand.

So what have I done in the past 5 months? Well Let's see...

Since I didn't go home for Thanksgiving break, I was able to get a front-row view of the Macy's Parade! Here are a few pictures:

 

The parade was amazing, but what made it truly unforgettable, was the fact that my friend Sadie spent Thanksgiving week exploring the city with me.



More recently, I had the privilege of being part of the live audience for SNL! Jennifer Lawrence was hosting, and The Lumineers were the musical guest. I, and a group of 8 other girls from my house (sorority) camped out for a 30 hour period on the sidewalk in mid-January for a chance at these tickets... I pulled my first all-nighter (in 15 degree weather, may I add). I made friends with a couple of homeless people - you should try it sometime, they all have really interesting stories (hi Mommy! I know you are reading this...). Also, if you are going to explore Times square, I recommend you do it at 3am... It is much more pleasant without the crowd (seriously people, Times square on a Saturday night is what I imagine hell to be like...). Anyway, we got the tickets at 7am, and our group (thank the Lord!) was the last one to be admitted... (I'm really sorry for the people who were in line after us..... maybe....). So this is how I ended up taking pictures with the entire cast of SNL and breathing the same air as Jennifer Lawrence. Yeah, my life is pretty awesome.

So these are all the stories I will share for now. Can't promise you when I will post next, but I can promise that every time I do, I will include stories from the past five months.

Love you all!

-H